Tuesday

where childhood begins




when the last soother went missing
she pouted her lips as if looking for the words
to describe her first sense of loss

at night she flailed against her blankets
a poor substitute for that old comfort,
arms, legs over throwing again, again

I stepped over the silhouette of toys lined up
by her small bed
Red Bear, a book, a soft purse filled with paper, jewels,
a small wooden spoon, pink pail - it’s handle bent

I detected the slight rise and fall of her sleep,
the curve of her spine
the spread of her hair on the pillow that spells her name

her voice, her arms then still
I covered her up
her hands folded
against the crocheted wool
mouth an empty ‘O’

22 comments:

  1. Anonymous8:56 AM

    Beautiful -- and I am excited to learn about your new book, which will make a great gift for the new mothers in my life. Kudos on your wonderful blog, too.

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  2. oo that was beautiful

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  3. your poetry . filled . my . mind . today

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  4. Awww...so fitting for me right now - we just "lost" my littlest one's last "putter" (what we call pacifiers)...she did great for a week or so, now has been looking in my purse for them!

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  5. Beautiful words Shona....

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  6. Shona, this is simply beautiful! We had such a hard time getting rid of ours (via the "binky fairy") - this sums up the loss so tenderly. Kristin xo

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  7. Beautiful and it captures the struggle well of loosing the pacifier. I remember thinking my daughter would never be able to kick the habit, I honestly thought she would be a closet pacifier user for many years. But indeed they are all gone now, and she moved on very quickly. Her love of the pacifier was immense.

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  8. Soulfully sad and blissfully perfect.

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  9. lovely writing,,,only my twins needed a dummy, thats what they call them in australia, but it was used as a tool for them to learn how to suck...they never really took to them much, nor did my other 4 children..maybe a blessing...lol...xxx

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  10. Lovely words, Shona.

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  11. Oh...Emerson has nothing on you- capturing a moment every mother, no matter how old her babies are remembers!

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  12. sniff sniff. i recall a few nights like this over 10 years ago (and it still feels like yesterday). your words stirred up those feelings. such poetry here shona.

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  13. This is beautiful! I've never heard this stage of a baby's life described so well.

    Thanks for visiting my blog and for your kind comments!

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  14. What an exquisite description of the tension between the pain and sweetness of growing up.

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  15. Beautiful - transports me back immediately to the day my youngest threw her "boppy" in the trash & then cried. Even now, she still brings it up from time to time & she's 8!

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  16. So sweet. Love the photo.

    Here's my blog post from last year when my daughter was forced to give up her 'sucky.'

    http://thedeverfamily.blogspot.com/2009/04/ode-to-suckys.html

    Gotta love it. :)

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  17. a perfect piece in every way.

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  18. So sweet...my daughter lost her "Ba-Ba" when we were on vacation and taking a tour of a National Park cave. . . We'd been told not to leave ANYTHING behind in the cave. As the guide was saying the formations looked like ice-cream scoops, she opened her mouth and . . . plink . . . plink . . . silence. My husband kept her calm, but when we got outside, she cried, "I lost mine Ba-ba in caaaaaave!" She still tells the story.

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  19. Wonderful blog!!! I love your art!

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  20. Beautiful! I only wish my girls "soother" was something we could part with. Hers are her fingers. When they handed her to me in China 8 years ago, just a wee baby she was...she looked at me then promptly stuck those two fingers in her mouth and laid her head on my shoulder. I will never forget that moment. Try telling that to her orthodontist! She STILL uses them when she's tired and at night. *Sigh*

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  21. Beautiful. I t's so refreshign to see soem poetry on a blog!

    My little one is 11 months, almost a year. She hasn't really needed her paci for several months now (at leat when I put her down, I work full time and our neighbor watches her), but we'll see what happens when I start weaning her!

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  22. Beautiful. I t's so refreshign to see soem poetry on a blog!

    My little one is 11 months, almost a year. She hasn't really needed her paci for several months now (at leat when I put her down, I work full time and our neighbor watches her), but we'll see what happens when I start weaning her!

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