Life changing

I am 19 weeks into my fifth pregnancy now. I am in that middle phase where I am showing a belly which gives me an excuse for all the weight I have put on :), I am no longer desperately tired and hungry and am cruising along happy to be carrying a healthy baby.



We found out the sex of the baby Monday and are delighted that we are having a little boy. I was going to be happy with either. If it had been a girl I would have looked forward to more years of wings, crafts and pretty things. Now I know it is a boy, well who knows? Will he be like his big brother, an avid reader, super active, with an intense drive for justice and knowledge? Or will he be influenced by the 3 girls directly above him who will twitter all over him in an artsy and maternal way? In the next few years he will demonstrate his own personality and interests, it will be fun to see where his style of being takes our family.

Being pregnant is one of those life changing experiences, the world will never be the same, this little guy will bring with him something that is unique and special, like all little people do. I feel so blessed to be a part of this creative process.

SPC

I was not going to do the month of March's SPchallenge until I saw the ever inspiring Misty Mawn's picture. The challenge is use online tools to create or enhance your image, they have a list of tools that can be used. I have been playing around with photoshop for a while and have done tons of fun arty things with photos, so I guess I was a little burned out on it photo altering. But I was able to do this one in 5 minutes with my son helping me (he is going to do his own once I finish this post). I love stuff that is quick and fun and a little different.

That photo is huge, ahhhh... I....

SPC - Momma me

This is the real me at this 'mother of young' season of life. Everything I do is done through the filter of my children. It is a time of constant movement, with no time to linger on my thoughts, I am pure action.... where's the Ergo?, do you have your shoes? no, you must wear real clothes, just a minute kids, momma is checking emails, here let me help, bedtime, storytime, Latin songs, time for math, have you done your literature?, lunch, no we are having turkey/cheese today peanut butter tomorrow, where is Laura... please get down from there, do you need to go potty? 'I need you momma', Mom Matthew won't let me have it, share please, do I have clean socks?....



Through all of this noise I have had to steel myself to get art done. There is no time to think. I have to be ready to craft when the time comes... usually late in the evening or perhaps a half hour in the afternoon. I can't do research, I just jump in. I can't plan the perfect collage, or pendant... I just do it. This is a good thing, I am really being me.

More SPC's here.

Self Portrait Challenge - Black & White (2)

SPC 'Give and Take'. This represents to me the relationship I am building with my friends and fellow artists. I have given and taken from some special girlfriends these past few months. We are together in this life to learn from each other, to share ideas, friendships and inspiration. It is how we were designed to live. We give to eachother, we take from eachother, we are in community together. It is a beautiful thing.

Self Portrait Challenge - Black &
White

It took 3 children before I felt the depth of the challenge of motherhood. Laura... "how do keep a wave upon the sand, how do you hold a moombeam in your hand?" She is one of those people born with a force of will that means she must be destined for something great.

She scared me, she rattled every selfish bone in my body. I didn't want to have to work at being a mother, I wanted it as easy as it was with my first 2. I have tried to run from her, but when I did I made it worse. I am no longer running, I am embracing and the more I indulge in being her mother the more her great sweetness is emerging.

Self Portrait Challenge. I resolve to be sweeter to my babies. Sometimes I get hung up on the to do list and am something like a drill sargent telling them to put on their shoes, load in the car with an attitude of 'do it now, get a move on'. I have read lots of parenting books that tell me to keep my kids on strict schedules and to obey my voice first time. I have found myself almost resenting their moments of disobedience, not because I am worried about their character but because I thought to be a good Mommy they should obey me and if they disobey it reflects poorly on me (now there is a confession!). I use to resent them waking up in the night as baby sleeping all night was a badge of motherhood honor... Oh Matthew has slept through the night at 10 weeks.... I see now that there is a little more grace in motherhood. Annie is still nursing at night, Laura now comes to our bed everynight. I am welcoming them. They are only little, they need my love, kindness and guidance.... not just my orders.

Self Portrait Challenge - New Years Resolution: Create More.

My time to create starts at about 9-10pm, when my house is in order, time spent with my husband and my kids are in bed (minus Matthew, who is a late nighter like me… I have tried to fight but lost the battle, at least he does his own thing in the evening). I stay up to 1-2am. So that is a long time to myself, 3-4 hours. Often by 10pm I am tired and just want to check emails, read blogs of other creative folks or watch a DVD…. I am resolved to try to do less of that and more in my project center. I have no excuse… I don’t have to go all the way outside to the workshop anymore, as I moved everything in. So…. Yep, more art here. I met every Somerset Studio theme in 2006… and thanks to in the interest of Somerset editor Jenny Doh in my art I have more deadlines to meet in 2007… Yeah!

But more than just doing more creating, I resolve to keep it balanced with the rest of my life. To be ready to create in the evening I have to think a little about it in the daytime. But I can't let that focus lessen my joy in doing my daytime stuff. My friend and artist Shannon Mucha and I have been talking about the balance between art and keeping focused on home/kids/school stuff (not forgetting keeping my husband a happy man:) I am not in a season when I can just do my own thing. Mark, Matthew, Lily, Laura and Annie are HUGE in my life. The flame for both worlds must burn brightly. With prayer and re-visiting my goals and not getting sidetracked into entertainment and laziness I believe I can do this. I am doing it. Little sleep for me!

I am finally all moved and working in my new creating space. I love that everything I need is right here.

I am working on a stuff for a new section in Somerset Studio called Somerset Workshop. This department started in the current issue (Jan/Feb 2007), where the artist, Connie Govea Stuart shows you step by step how she makes a collage piece. I am working on an altered photo with a stamping technique for a journal cover. I have a deadline of Feb 1 for mine, but I don't know which issue it will be in. I have just finished my submission for the Nature Preserved theme for the July/August issue of Somerset, which is due Feb 15. And after the workshop stuff is done I will turn my attention to Somerset Home. I had 4 pieces in the last Somerset home so I am hoping to do as well again. Work, work work. I love it!

Oh, by the way the hat is covering unwashed hair. Some mundane things just don't get done with 4 kids and lots of art to do. That reminds me... gotta do some laundry also.