What happened at the front gate?

1:30 pm, I am at the front gate
sitting on the iron two seater
listening to my son cry for 'out' -
out of the stroller
out the straps that contain his form
of the wheels that brought him here.
He wants to explore -
walk the road
pick up rocks
examine the mail.

He knows not that there
is danger on the road -
fast cars, fire ants piled on the edge.
But more, he knows not that I am tired
I want to, no need to, sit here
quietly on this solid bench
away from the house
from the familiar asking of his siblings
from the sound of Schoolhouse Rock
multiplication songs,
songs, I know now by heart

He persists
he is his own energy force
and I am weak to his red round lips
his blond layers, his little boy blue.

A simple click of the red button
and he is free!

I rise and follow,
capture.

My camera now full of life.

I am breaking all the poetry rules by doing something so literal, but you know poetry of the ordinary is worth the rebellion ;)

Me too! video

Being the youngest of five Maximus has a lot of kids to watch and learn from. Fortunately, my big kids are wholesome and creative, fun and happy. Maximus likes to be with them and do what they do, go with their flow, join in the noise and be part of the ruckus.

The latest fad in the Cole home is scootering. Everyday my kids (minus Annie, who is just not the sporty type) go around and around the house, the garage, the driveway on their razor scooters. Their favorite place to scooter is outside on the road..... you can see what Max sees and how he wants to do it too:

Me Too! from Shona Cole on Vimeo.


And Laura, her sweet servant heart, is ready to help him in anyway he needs.

How is this boy only 10?

and me too! After that I raised the handle bars and man, those things can go fast!!!

If you are on Spring break, I hope you are having some fun family time. We are not as we had too much time off in January when my family were here! But it is hard to keep focused on grammar and math when the weather is so good in Texas. It is like an Irish summer, fresh and lovely. I love Spring.

**********

I have a post over on CRESCENDOh about working with kids, it is a part 2 from last week's. I am talking about being mentally and physically prepared for doing art with kids. There is some meat there, some things to think about. I hope you check it out and if you do please leave me a comment and tell me your thoughts.

Motherhood v the world

I am not deaf to his call,

his smile, his neediness

I am not confused by the next step

he and I will take

His grip on my leg

so constant, so familiar

easing my days,

eclipsing the world outside.

By Shona Cole

I talk!

Last week I was interviewed by Jamie Ridler for her podcast series. I packed a whole lot of words into about 15 minutes about creativity in my life.

a necklace I made yesterday, photo by Lily

The questions she posed were essentially these:

Tell us a bit about yourself and your creative life.
How do you invite your creativity out to play?
As a creative person, what do you find to be your biggest challenge and how do you overcome it?
What advice would you give to people who want to express more creativity in their lives?
What's next for you?
Where can people find you?

So follow this link to hear the full podcast.

(Super unprofessional disclaimer: I have a hard time listening to the sound of my voice. As I am posting this I have only listened to about 30 seconds of my part of the podcast. Jamie sounds great, but from me all I could hear was 'like' and 'um'. So I turned it off. But Shannon listened and said it sounds like me, and she should know we are on the phone every day.)

I really appreciate Jamie taking the time to include me in her very full line up of wonderful, creative women. For a full list go here.



At the end of the podcast I mention 2 places to find me in March:

1) Over at CRESCENDOh's 'The Good Coach' series, talking about motherhood and art with kids.


2) Leading one of ten online workshops at the Wishstudio's - wishBig eCamp. It is an amazing line up of teachers, including Jamie Ridler. It is on march 21 – march 27, 2011. For details and to sign up go here.

My workshop is on creating and decorating an Artistic Vision Statement, which is a vital tool in keeping your art fires burning, especially when you have little kids in your life.

My latest kid's crafts

So moving on from my introspective post yesterday (thank you for all the supportive comments) - Annie got a very cool craft book from Shannon's little girl Nomi for her 5th birthday. It is called Make it by Jane Bull. We have slowly been working through the projects.

I love this book cause you get to use stuff you already own. I believe it is a matter of good character to not waste things and to use what we have to the fullest. I rarely have anything to donate as we use stuff until it is ruined or altered!

paper mache bowl by Annie, 5

I love how my girls approach crafts. Every day they make something out of whatever is around the house whether I initiate it or not. And when they do, they are so enthusiastic, they always run into their dad (who works from home) to show him what they made. They are addicted to his constantly over the top, positive reaction to every little morsel they make! And then they want me to photograph it! So sweet. Art is a family affair in the Cole home.

Bags made from old jeans - these were super simple to make and so cute!!

Annie wanted to set up her mat like the one in the book!

I know that doing art with kids can seem overwhelming. But I believe that it is worth the time, effort and inevitable mess! Really, art is an essential part of my kid's education. Over at CRESCENDOh this week I have a fun, practical post about introducing art to your kids. Next week I will be talking about mental and physical preparation. Good stuff.

I hope you will visit me there and add your thoughts and ideas.

Embracing my dillettante nature

where I do a lot of thinking

dilettante
 \ DIL-uh-tont; dil-uh-TONT; dil-uh-TON-tee; -TANT; -TAN-tee \
1. An amateur or dabbler; especially, one who follows an art or a branch of knowledge sporadically, superficially, or for amusement only.
2. An admirer or lover of the fine arts.

I am in an introspective mood right now, looking at where I have been, where I am going. Considering my long and short term goals, my vision of myself.

You may wonder why I am still working on my vision of me. Why I am still trying to find that elusive sense of 'Active Satisfaction'. Well, I think with having published a book I felt that my next step needed to be 'professional' - to do another book, to market my current book, develop a product line, be a teacher, move my blog to the next level of greatness. And somewhere along the way I thought that to be a professional meant I needed to focus on one thing, to develop one art further.

But that was stressing me out because in reality 1) I am a homeschool Mama of 5 kids under 10 and 2) I have never been an exclusive person, I like to artistically dabble. And I am tired of feeling like this is not good enough, that I am not doing enough. I am tired of not being satisfied with myself. Seriously folks, in 2011 I am going to get my head around this!!!

In my introspective mode I was looking at the blogs I have bookmarked. The blogs that I visit for inspiration, for comfort, to be close to those I identify with and like. And I noticed the diversity of blogs I like:

Mama/photographers like Shutter Sisters, Shannon Mucha
Christian/writer/photographers like Chatting at the sky, Amy Voskamp
Mama/organic/life like Soule Mama, Walk slowly, Live Wildly
Artist/poetic/life style like Kelly Rae Roberts, Liz Lamoreux
Journal artists like Alisa Burke, Donna Downey
Lifestyle/women/artsy like Wishstudio
Crafty/mama/homeschooling like Artful Parent,  Acorn Pies
Crafty/mama/shabby chic like Ruffle and Stuff, One Pretty Thing
Crafty/indie/mama like Made, I am Momma - Hear Me Roar
Artist/indie/geeky/urban like Etsy's blog, or Keri Smith
Poetic/artistic/photographers like Susan Tuttle,  Misty Mawn
Mixed media/crafty/shabby chic/lifestyle like CRESCENDOh, Cynthia Shaffer, Roben-Marie,
Mixed media like Create Mixed Media, Seth's The Altered Page
Product photography/house style like A Creative Mint, Decor8

All of these blogs have bits that resonate with me.

While I know my primary focus is, big picture, on motherhood and art - my style and process is really that of a dilettante. Yes, I dabble in different arts and in different styles.

I like shabby chic, artsy romantic, clean, white and urban, indie and geeky, layered, whimsical and happy, sad and decaying. I am all of these things. I love poetry - reading it and writing it. I love photography - looking and taking. I love pretty things in my hands - notebooks, altered tins filled with papers. I enjoy doing crafts. I like to write and inspire others.

I am ambitious for my creativity. But I don't want to be a professional anything right now. I don't want to be 'an artist', to market and sell my book/art. I don't want a shop or to be a leader. I just want to be here, raising my kids and doing something creative everyday. And isn't that the essence of my book?

So really I am full circle again. Just this time I won't get side tracked by the idea of being an advancing professional woman. While I admire women who are professional, think Jenny Doh or Kelly Rae Roberts, I need to be real with where I am right now. And if I am to be true to my vision as an artistic mother, fitting creativity into my life, then I can really only be a 'dilettante'. I need to actually embrace that and save the professional ambitions for later, when my kids are grown. 

I feel like I am putting my flag firmly in the ground, here I am and this is what I am. That feels freeing!!!

History is fun!

We are doing Roman history this year in school. Matthew is in 7th grade and studies under his dad's capable hand. I work with the girls on 1st, 2nd and 3rd grades.

Matthew is a reader, he reads something, it makes sense to him, he integrates it into his vast knowledge bank and that is that. When I did 3rd grade Roman history with Matthew he would glance at the craft offerings that accompanied the lesson and say 'Mom, we don't have to do that, do we?' I quit offering, relieved that I didn't have to get all the supplies out and end up doing it all myself!

My 2 older girls on the other hand are not really into words. They need visuals and hands on learning. They fidget when I read to them, they can hear my words over and over 'Republic.... Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon.... Empire... expansion.... Augustus.... blab blab blab.... but it is just not sinking in.

Fortunately, I have a book that saves history from doom - Classical Kids: An Activity Guide to Life in Ancient Greece and Rome.

The way I can get them to sit and listen to the historical facts is by the promise of a related craft. We have done many from this book. (I really should be photographing this stuff more. But my days are so FILLED with crafts and creativity it has almost become ho hum. Will do better.)

So here is my 1st/2nd grader Laura as the Roman girl in her stolla (p. 104) with her beaded bracelet (p. 110). I liked this craft because it involved more than just cardboard and paper!

Oh, last night at I was giving Lily her cuddle she actually said 'history is fun'! I am telling you that is big Cole news!!

(that is paint on her hand and arm!!! left over from some other, unsupervised creative activity)

Mum, you need to come to visit.... the girls have forgotten how to brush their hair ;) we need you!

The Good Coach on CRESCENDOh

Each week in the month of March I will be offering a series on The Good Coach section of Jenny Doh's CRESCENDOh.

My topic is, as you can imagine, on Artistic Mothering.

Week one - Doing what you love (in a nutshell, doing art regardless of how tired you are)
Week two - Practical tips for introducing art to your children
Week three - Practical tips for doing art with your kids
Week four - 5 tips for finding the time for art - * Update * This post has the journal prompt download.

All this is free!

And I will be offering a free journal prompt download to compliment the series and free directions on making a folder to house your journal prompts. Each of the 12 prompts features mixed media/photos by me coupled with relevant journal prompts. I will let you know when the download is available.

I hope you will take a chance to visit me on CRESCENDOh today and for the next 3 weeks and let me know what you think.

Storyland

I live with interesting people. These people, together with a very inventive neighbor boy, create stories every day. Out of fresh minds. Out leaves and sticks and near by forests. Out of a love for adventure.

Oh, the future is exciting! How beautiful that I get to see it unfold. 

(no live trees were cut down to create this house, they gathered trees, branches already felled)

I wrote about ACTIVE SATISFACTION on the Wishstudio! It is one of my favorite articles, I am really trying to live in active satisfaction. It is hard, but doable. Let me know what you think.

The dawn of boys and girls

This JB concert was set up by my 9 year old daughter

10 years ago when the technician said 'it's a girl' my first thought was 'one day that baby girl would love a boy'.

The thought gripped my heart with fear. How could I stop her from loving him too young? What experience could I draw from to advise her to forget him, focus on your art, your studies, anything but him?

I was that girl with a boy shaped hole inside. I was that girl who lived only to know him, see him, be with him. The girl I don't want my little girl to become. The power of it scares me.

So now it has begun to seep into my home how do I move? Do I deny it or hold her hand? Do I run and hide? Do I trust the foundation we have built beneath her? The ground I did not have. The ground with roots deep in the Word. Not blowing in the wind. Not unchained.

Yes, but I remember and tremble.

2 new Damien Rice songs

I just wanted this musical poetry on my blog.....


like an Irish folk song

These words sound sad, but my focus is on 'conviction'. I am utterly convicted that my path is here with my children. Nothing will tear me away from them and this deep seated desire to raise my kids here, at home with my husband.

I want my art to reflect my life here. Somehow. Even the purely decorative things I make, the things that look nice with little deeper meaning, the stamping, the crafts - they are for my girls, to inspire them to create too. To make the world a more beautiful place. To use their hands for good.

And boy do they create. Constantly. Completely. Larger than life. This pattern is working!

Poetry folder

I spend most of my creative time balancing between poetry, photography and mixed media. I step into one world for a bit and then when that runs out of steam I am into another. I often feel when I am writing a lot that I will never take photos again, or when I am on a collage roll that I will never write again! It is kind of like mommy guilt!! I never am relaxed. 

Sometimes I hit the perfect sweet spot, when all my loves come together. I think that is why the project in Week 12 in my book is my favorite. It is the 'Poetry Box' and combines all three together.

Well, here is an alternative to that project. This is a poetry folder. I printed out some poems (about 8), photos and created some mixed media pieces to mingle in with the poems, as visual relief. Then I made a folder (like this one) to house them and a bag (like these ones) to give them to the recipient.

I just love it! Enjoy:

The front of the poetry folder

I printed the poems onto cardstock and trimmed them all the same size

I sewed a little pocket to house the poems and artwork

A mixed media piece with a bird stamp that I carved from a photo

I layered mixed media and photos with the poems

The back of the folder

I made a gift bag for the folder

My valentine poem

From the other room
I hear the pages turn

the coffee sputter into the mug,

the yellow one?

after 16 years of marriage

we have not eclipsed one another

are not frozen in action, daily and stale

no, we are still learning each other’s ways,

still finding treasure

I tread, welcome but trembling

you are the continent I choose

over and over, my feet never tired,

my journey never over

I wake and am aware of the singleness

when you are gone

the bare bed vast and cold

knowing you are next door

reading some impenetrable tome

or emailing a brother I have not seen

for years, laughing at his jokes

a continued conversation of your own

you are the master of

a world that defines you as not me

I travel on

I am not lost, just wondering

you are still the thrill I seek

still huge, stable, secure

this morning you came back to bed

your cold body needing mine,

you crossed the ocean to my side

finding that equalizing of heat

your chest on my back, arm heavy on my shoulder,

legs entwined, tight

like a picture that I sometimes see

of my eternal place beyond this land

a star formation

of lovers always together

Making something to prove I am still me

In my own comments yesterday I said I would make something, just to do it.

So I did. A simple 10 minute collage on a tiny notebook I picked up at Target the other day. Nothing profound. But it reminds me I can, yes. This is me, I can pull something together. 

I heard clearly yesterday from some readers, sweet commenters and from emails -  we are many in the boat of mother, artist, balance, worry. It is so good to know I am not alone.

But how I wish we were all together in real life. The internet is great for bringing us together intellectually, but how nice it would be to meet in real life! Shannon Mucha and I have a bold idea to one day open an art center. It would be so cool to have workshops and classes and bring together like minds, if even for a weekend. I know there are tons of retreats around, but for me now with my 5 young kids it is not doable. I know that is probably the same for many of my blog friends. But it is nice to have that dream, that 'wild hope' for the future. It keeps me motivated to stay in the game all the while I am raising my beautiful ones.

A poem for today too...

Afternoon Homemaking

By Shona Cole

it is odd the way the gold

drifts across the tile

in the afternoon

I notice it when I pause

at the stove

spoon in hand

browning the meat.

I am at my station

I am where I need to be,

people come in and go out

but I stay here

stirring the pot

dusk is falling through

the door way

coming in with the dogs

the chattering children,

their father

all breathless with delight

pulling the day closed behind

 




** Often I forget to add 'by Shona Cole' on my poem posts.... but just in case you didn't realize most everything I post here I wrote.

what I need

Taken at the baker of Bellville's castle.

A day with the kids, and about 100 other homeschoolers - running with swords, in costume, listening to Canterbury type Tales, playing with dogs, climbing, laughing, painting, getting wet in the mote.

With all the kids occupied and my mother there to push Maximus around in his stroller I got a little time to myself to think and plan. And see myself. What I need.

My life is not all about me, but sometimes I need a little of me. Sometimes I wish that I had two days for every one day. One where I could be the housewife and indulgent mother, soaking up the largeness of my kid's world. The other where I am me, sitting in a coffee shop reflecting, praying, writing and remembering.

In reality, these parts of me have to co-exist. My daily life is a process to make it so. I am so tired of not feeling like I am getting the balance right. I want to let myself see that I really am okay, I really am there, that this is it - this is what it looks like to be a functioning Christian artsy mother, but I cling to the self angst that has been so familiar for so long, looking always with a critical eye.

Can I even know how to live without it? The angst I mean. It is almost scary to let go of it and allow myself to appreciate where I am. To be satisfied with where I am, now, today. I think I fear that if I am satisfied then I won't progress. But really, I am still as ambitious today as I was, but now my ambitions for myself share time with my ambitions for my kids - for my kids to be wonderful, God fearing, happy human beings. Again, back to the me and my mothering. The balance. The co-existing of parts of myself. And round and round I go. It is hard being the daughter of a psychologist, analysis is in my blood and I think, my generation. Ladies, we are getting older, let's agree to call quits on the self war and finally be enough. Oh, I say that but I know I won't commit.

Journaling

spill here mother

a blank page

waiting whiteness

that frightens the fool

the unplanned,

mute

quench me with your color

lines and hopes

find in the curves

fellow thoughts

layered

nuanced

unspoken

true

sifted

laid bare

enclosed

closed

put on the shelf

forever telling

my story

Antidote to feeling down

So I return to what makes me whole again. Pray. Talk. Create.

Excuse my absence. 

Nothing profound is going on.

Just the ups and downs of life.

Not feeling confident in my voice.

I will post a few things I have been making/writing when I get my confidence back. 

 In the meantime I will live my real life with crumbs to clean off beautiful faces, finding time to create and think. 

Thank you all for the kind words last week when something was actually wrong - a massive cold that seems to be going around Texas. That is all over now for the Coles. Thankfully. I hope your part of the world is well.