January 17, 2011

Between me, my kids and the world

Why do people on TV and online cuss so much?  It makes my job as a mom harder and restricts my freedom.

There are good programs out there that I want to share with my kids but can’t. Take Project Runway for example. My girls love fashion and creativity, which is the focus of that show. But we can’t enjoy it together because of the cussing and sexuality references. Then there is YouTube. My son loves to watch top ten soccer goals on YouTube, but I have to do the searches and hold my hand over the comments area because there is invariably someone exclaiming in the worst terms why this collection of goals or that player sucks.

Now I can’t do anything about other folks’ freedom of speech and I am no prude. I can watch an R rated movie with the toughest of the rest. I just wish people could find a less lazy way of expressing themselves. Cussing is the quickest way to complain or show emotion. I know this to be true because I have been a cusser – have you every seen an Irish movie that wasn’t loaded down with profanity? It goes with the territory, but that does not mean I am not trying to raise the bar for myself and my kids.

Since I refuse to reject the world and become a separatist not allowing my kids be a part of the modern world, I will continue to oversee and limit what my kids do and see. I understand that my role as a parent includes being vigilant and ready to step in between my kids and the world. And who ever said being a parent would be easy?

But what makes me sad is that that cussing is only the tip of the iceberg. I think of all the darkness that is in the world that my kids are yet to see and my stomach clenches. I think of their happy, innocent minds being polluted by evil. Uhhh. 

I can’t protect them forever. I can try to educate my five kids so that they will make wise choices in what they hear, see and do. And I can and do pray for them. I pray that the Lord will protect their bodies, minds and hearts from bad things. 

And I can take time to expose them to the good things too, fill up their minds with art and color, stories and happy experiences. I can continue to light candles to push back the darkness. I just wish sometimes the darkness wasn’t so pervasive.


  1. Anonymous8:45 AM

    I am right there with you! I am trying desperately to protect my 8 yr old daughter from the same things and it gets harder and harder as she gets older. Trying to balance the realities of the world without exposing her to the unecessary evil will be my biggest task as a mama. Thanks for sharing what I'm certain many of us are feeling:)

  2. It is a very difficult job. But we must press on.

  3. Me again. I think taking the time to put good stuff in them will go a long way.

  4. You are not alone! Our children are young and innocent for such a short time. Why hurry it up with gratituous sex, violence and profanity? When choosing what movies to watch, we often use the website Kids-in-Mind. It does a great job of providing info about language, violence and nudity.

  5. We tried Clear Play for movies but the system kept breaking down and their customer service was terrible. I will check out Kids in Mind, thanks for the recommendation.

  6. I'm glad you're posting this---not only do we have to filter out cussing and sex, but even fear! Both my kids have terrible nightmares if the wrong sort of "scary" stuff is on TV. The worst part is that me and DH have different beliefs about what is and isn't "scary." Go figure. May God guide us all. :)

  7. shona, i don't have children yet, but worry about this too. more and more shows are reality tv and the other shows on are not so much for children. i remember watching the cosby show and ofter wonder what will my kids will have as a memory show. i think it's a difficult time we live in know, but i choose to stay positive....it's the pnly way, right?
    i believe you're a WONDERFUL mom and it truly is the toughest job you'll ever love.
    hugs and smiles~ jill

  8. I agree 100%. I preview Project Runnway and do some major fast-forwarding for my 11 year old to watch it with me.

    I get so sick of the overuse of those same, what... 5 words? Seriously, if I used any word that often, people would make fun of me. And they should! It's not very original to swear. People who come up with better ways to express themselves are so much more interesting. Especially in print.

    I wish my daughter could go on pinterest because it's such a cool site, but there is too much nudity, swearing, etc. It's just not good for kids, she's not ready to do the wading yet.

  9. You're a good Mommy, dear!

  10. Clearplay came out with a new player last year that is alot better than the old ones. I don't know when ya'll tried it. I think there are some other Christian filters out there too, but I can't think of their names right now. I know that Leah would love Project Runway too. I guess we'll just have to have our girls doing their own project runways for a long time.

  11. "And I can take time to expose them to the good things too, fill up their minds with art and color, stories and happy experiences."

    You are a thoughtful and dedicated parent. There's no doubt in my mind that your children will keep the beauty, the love, and the strength you are giving them through their encounters with darkness.

    I also worry about my little one, but I know that I can't protect her from everything. The best I can hope for is to prepare her to meet the challenges when they come. I still worry. And I am painfully aware of my limitations.

    But let's keep our heads up, eh? Our children have their own strength to add to ours. It'll be ok.

  12. I'm pretty shocked at the stuff on TV-- From Project Runway to Glee. Kids are like sponges and take it all in.

    I wish more people were like you trying to expose young people to good things.


  13. I love that you wrote this. I understand, and have so much fear for my children.

    This photo exudes innocence. I love it!

  14. I so agree with you!! I have 5 boys ages 7-15. It gets harder as they get older! I had to start watching TV with my kids (before age 10 it really was only videos that I allowed). Now my oldest wants to watch the things his friends do. What has helped is that my hubby and I are readers and have passed that on to all of our kids. We choose books in the evening over TV (except for sports...hocky and football right now). If there is a show they want to watch I PVR it and then watch it with them. At 15 I still do not allow him just to sit in front of the TV. I just sing "Be careful little eyes what you see for the Father up above is looking down in love." to him. He thinks that I am a geek(LOL what 15 year old boy doesn't think him mom is a geek)but understands what I mean.
    Keep it up ...you are your childs hero and in the end I know that they will appreciate it!!

  15. As I live with infertility issues, I dream about what kind of mom I will be one day, thinking about all of my ideals of motherhood.

    Sheltering my kids is something I think about a lot. I wonder, should I even have a tv when I have kids? Homeschool? Yes, I think so. I hope so.

    I want to raise my kids. I don't want the media to raise my kids. And I don't want other kids to raise my kids. I think about the long haul and going against the grain. It's both exciting and filled with anxiety.

    Of course, these are just my ideals and theories... from a wanna be mama. <3

  16. This is such a fantastic post...it is my most important role as a mother (next to loving them which is a "duh" kind of thing-lol).

    Picked up my Artistic Mother book last night after a lonnnggg hiatus from my art...it was refreshing and helped me get excited again. thank you!!

  17. May G4:33 PM

    My 10 yr old son doesn't understand why people have to ruin movies with bad words and inappropriate scenes! He is learning cuss words, from cousins and friends. yes, even the ones who are homeschooled =) we can't shield them from evil but we can teach them to stand up against it and to flee from it. like you, i just wish there aren't so much of it.


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